Tell your child:

• I love you
• I love you no matter what
• I love you even when you are angry with me
• I love you even when I am angry with you
• I love you even when you are far away. My love always stays with you
• If someone would tell me to choose any child in the world, I would choose you
• I like you to the moon, stars and back
• Thank you
• I liked playing with you today
• I love watching you doing something (draw, swim, run, etc.)
• My favorite part of this day was when we were doing something together
• You make my heart sing

Let your child know:

• The story of how she was born or adopted
• About the way you were cuddling with her when she was a baby
• The story of how you chose her name
• About yourself at her age
• The story of how your and your spouse met
• About your favorite color
• That sometimes it is hard for you too
• That when you hold her hand and press it 3 times, that means “I love you”

Listen to:

• Your child while driving
• What your child is saying about his toys, and how it is important for him
• Your child one minute more, than your patience allows you
• The feelings which are behind the words of your child

Ask your child:

• Why do you think this happened?
• What would be if…?
• How should we find this out?
• What are you grateful for today?

Show your child:

• How to do something instead of forbidding it
• How to fold clothes
• That you love your spouse
• How to crazy-dance
• How to build a castle from pillows and blankets
• That it is important to take care of yourself

Find the time to:

• Watch constructions together with your child
• Watch flying birds
• Engage your child in a cooking process
• Do something at a speed your child is comfortable with
• Sit next to your child while he is playing
• Listen to a street musician
• Hug him

Make your child a little happier by:

• Putting food on his plate in a smiling face shape
• Accompanying your actions by funny sounds
• Playing with him on the floor
• Pretending to be a lion

Let go of:

• Guilt
• Your thoughts about how it could be
• Your desire to be right

What can you give your child?

• Look at your child with kind eyes
• Smile when he enters the room
• Make sure you and your child have connected before teaching him something
• Give you child the opportunity to deal with his anger himself before helping him
• Find other different ways to be kinder to your child

beach, mother and son, sunset, love

Written by E. Makarenko, translated by Ksenia LL